I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
