I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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