Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
