please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
