how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
