I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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