Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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