and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
