Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
