i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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