So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
