you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
