whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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