Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
