Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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