mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
