She said her name was "party"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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