I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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