Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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