So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
