So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
