im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Text me some of your sweat
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize