I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize