I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
