I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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