wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
