I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize