She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
not ubering you a puppy
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
