I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
