I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
