the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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