this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
