they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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