Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
