woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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