I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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