U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
