wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
