I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize