Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
