I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
