i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
