Your tits are I can't wait for
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize