grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
