i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
