I think i sorta joined a cult last night
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
