I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
