i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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