I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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