She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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