I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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