you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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