we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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