if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize