you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
