I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize