I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
