worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
