my mouth tastes like poor choices
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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