On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
