i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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