You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
