This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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